看到有些網友都在這裡說起溏心風暴的程亮，我想.........有很多人，特別是男人會有些深刻的回憶，我自己是一個離了婚多年的男人，離婚的主線也是有關於婚外情的，但婚已離，人己去，我沒有後悔當初的處事和決定，我明白，我對愛情是不專一，但我對每個我愛的人也是認真的，雖然這是做錯的事情！
  我在想…程亮的故事會引起很多男人的感概，而我也深深的領會這感覺！

  離婚後的第7個年頭了，現在也有一個很要好的女友，也談論婚姻了，但有時會感覺對婚姻有點恐懼，會不想再婚的念頭！這幾年，除了我女友，也交上很多異性，但我還是恐怕做出些對不起我女友的事情，不想再玩三角遊戲了！我會選擇逃避，盡量避開那些可能會發生感覺的女生，我相信也避開了很多的緣份！也可能有某些女生會很恨我的！

  今天，我發覺.......我又喜歡了另外的一個女生了，我問自已到底你想怎樣呀？我自己都想不出答案來，但我自己還是知道我是愛現在的女友，但緣份又偏偏令我思潮不安！

唉！三角遊戲是不好玩，但偏偏這個時候又遇上了！男人，是不是麻煩的動物？沒有感情是不是不再麻煩呢？

同意...萬分感慨............

我想。。。沒感情更麻煩……

Dear kenny1234

You may have to distinguish between love and attraction. You may be attracted by many girls and some of them may like you as well. But when it boils down to love, there may be only onewhom you really care. Of course, I myself don't know what love is. However, my own experience is that when I am in love with someone, even there is one who is really attractive and shows me that she is approachable, I will only admire her and not try to develop with her. In your case, that's why you chose to escape in the past. Stepping into your current lover's shoes, if she has more than one lover, what would you think?

引用:

原帖由 fuckallday 於 2007-6-7 06:26 發表
Dear kenny1234

You may have to distinguish between love and attraction. You may be attracted by many girls and some of them may like you as well. But when it boils down to love, there may be onl ...

多謝你的忠告和意見，但...........說真，還是不知自己想怎樣做？

From you words "我明白，我對愛情是不專一，但我對每個我愛的人也是認真的，雖然這是做錯的事情！"
I strongly believe you are a playboy actually. Every playboy after they hurted a girl's heart, they will say this to the girl and your friends. What was your intention? I think everybody should understand this. But I can say you are not entirely a true playboy. Otherwise, you won't care what you did and setup a topic for us to discuss.  

Man,it seems that you accept a girl so easily. I think it is now you come to a point that you should decide whether you can promise yourself you can only have one girl in your brain in the future or not. If the answer is no, then you shouldn't marry again. Stay in the playground, have many girlfriends at one time.

This is the experience that I saw from my friends. Hope it can help you to know yourself better.

Dear Kenny1234 and nobody169

I still think it is not love when we have mrore than one gfs. You know, almost all males (and females as well) enjoy the feeling of being liked by the opposite gender. Therefore, when we are being approached by another female, as long as she is not unadorable, most of us would not reject despite having a steady relationship with a gf already. If you tell the seond girl that you already have a gf and you weight her less than your gf, what do you think she may act. Most likely she may quit and won't carry on the relation with you. And thus more likely you may have to cheat in order to keep her. It is more like a game of hunting for preys, instead of love as it involves cheats and tricks. Of ocurse, if you are in the process of finding a steady gf, you may be choosing between more than two gfs at the same time. Nonetheless, some of my friends' experience of stepping on two boats resulted in sinking both boats! Beware.

Dear fuXkallday
           Thanks for your advise. Obviously, the approach you are using is quite self-centered. Girls are not stupid, perhaps the girls who approaching you were stupid, but at the end of the day, they will figure out you have gf. Perhaps, she will take you from your current gf. Do you think she will trust you and treat you serviously in the future? In my opinion, how come girls nowadays become tricky and don't treat love affairs seriously, is becasue there are so many mens using the approach you suggested. From what you have written here, I guess you are having simular attitude to Kenny1234.  In realiaty, it is hard to distinguish what is correct and what is wrong. Beside, self-centered and self-fish are associated each other.

Dear fuckallday and nobody169

真的謝謝你們的意見和討論，其實，這幾晚......我也想了很久很久，昨晚也睡不下來，回憶了我的前半生！
婚前，我確實是一個比較多情的人，而且樣樣好，火騏驎一名！但自從結婚後真的變乖了，返工放工回家，定時定候，沒半點行差踏錯，可惜，婚後幾年，不知是我自己定力不夠還是桃花運過剩，遇上了很多女子，當然.....結局是離婚收場，
但自從結識了現在的女友，這幾年我真的想收身養性，不想辜負她了，所以也盡量的避開很多不必要的桃花，因我女友不是在香港的，所以，間中我真的感覺很寂寞！這幾年，我雖然也做出一些背叛她的行為，但這些全是肉體的歡娛，全沒有感情的交往，反而....一些會發展感情的機會我就一一拒絕了！
  只是，這兩三個月裡，偶然認識了一個女生，我和她都有了一種很特別的感覺，但......以前的事情困擾了我的思維，我知道，我已愛上了這個女子，但.......我又沒法放得下我女友，我是很愛她的，而她也很愛我，也準備今年結婚，雖然我對婚姻是有一種抗拒感，但....為了她，我也甘心的應承她了！
  可是，內心的矛盾一直在衝激自己的承諾，就在這時侯認識了另一個她，但我沒勇氣去接受這段情，也沒勇氣去離開我的女友！其實、我真的想做一個好男人，但我就是偏偏做不到？

引用:

原帖由 kenny1234 於 2007-6-8 15:36 發表
Dear fuckallday and nobody169

真的謝謝你們的意見和討論，其實，這幾晚......我也想了很內峇ㄓU來，回憶了我的前半生！
婚前，我確實是一個比較多情的人，而且樣樣好，火騏驎一名！但自從結婚後真的變乖了 ...

又一感同身受............最衰我冇樣好..樣樣差......
人就係咁...有o個陣唔識珍惜...到冇左..先知佢好.......希望你諗清楚.............唔好將來後悔...

Dear Nobody169

You've got me wrong. In fact, I am saying that it won't work if you have more than one gf at the same time. For me, it is difficult for me to develop another relationship when I have a steady gf/wife even when the third person appears to be prettier or nicer in whatever aspect.

Dear Kenny1234

I really don't know if a man/woman can love two persons at the same time. I remember the first thing my Economic professor taught us was that "choosing is painful!". It certainly applies in your case. Yet  I do think you have to choose since if you let it drag on, eventually it will affect all 3 of you. I can see so many cases that a boy marries a girl and then after marriage he can't forget a second girl and tries to maintain a relationship with her or just regrets that why he didn't choose her. Eventually the marriage is ruined. It is painful to choose now, but once you've decided which one is your love (or lovest), then you should be blunt and clearly sever your relationship with the other one.

On second thought, regarding your feeling towards the second girl, could it be the fear generated from your previous marriage that somehow makes yolu try to escape from marriage? Therefore, it is not real love, just a way for you to defer your decision to marry.

Dear Kenny1234

Reading your message more carefully, I don't know why you would buy sex when your gf is not with you. You know, I have the guilt feeling towards my wife even when I simply dream of developing a relationship with someone else or dreaming of having physical relationship with someone else. If thre is real love, it may make you to hold off your sex drive and devote yourself wholely to your gf. The bottomline is that: do you really love your current gf? Or it is just the long-time commitment makes you feel regret when you've found out that you don't really love her? That's why you buy sex and develop with another girl.

感情不是麻烦，是人人都需要的，正因为有了感情，世界才美好

麻煩:你經過了開心後,想換畫時,就會好麻煩

Dear Kenny1234,

I totally understand your situation now. Since I am a man though. Man always love to being attract. However, I am thinking about one question that a word "Commitment" --> For this commitment, am I willing to give up a chance for the other girls and have the life with my gf?

Another thing that are you a person who feel hard to say "No"? I think you should try to say No to other girl. Otherwise, the situation will keep happen and happen again. No matter how many girl friends you have though. It will be a loop and pain for your life.

"You always have choice" - choose to get rid of this pain or stay in the pain. It's all your choice.

your problem is can't control yourself, if you have no confidence to control yourself, please don't fall in love again!

好多謝大家的意見，這段時間反覆思量了很多和很久，
決定了今年不會結婚，這決定來得很突然，但實行了又覺得有點傷感和可惜，也差點和女友分手了！
也不知怎說好，不過這幾天跟她的關係又好了點，我知我負了她，也很遺憾的作了這個決定，
不過，我也沒再找那個新認識的女仔，我反而真的想好好愛我女友...............

I have a relative in similar situation before. He is quite handsome and had many gfs. He always had at aleast 2 gfs at the same time. Before he decied to get married, he was choosing between 2 gfs. IN fact, he was wondering if he should get married as marriage might end his colourful life of dating with different gfs. eventually he chose to get marrried with one who is not that pretty but appears to be a good wife. Nonetheless, after marriage, for two years, he continued to go out with the other girl who also got married with someone. The other girl is like him, having more than one bfs and is pretty/attrative. His wife found out and left home. Then he realized that he had to really make a decision what to do, to stick to his wife or to persuade the playgirl to divorce as well and stay together. Evntually he chose to stay with his wife and now they are living happily together and have a little baby.