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標題: 愛上一個不應去愛的人, 可以點? [打印本頁]

作者: fatboy33 時間: 2007-9-18 08:48 標題: 愛上一個不應去愛的人, 可以點?

I married my wife for 8 years. We got a common female friend. In last 6 months, I had a very close relationship with her. Finally, we kissed each other last night. We understood we love each other. She knew that I won’t leave my wife. But she just cannot bear to have such kind of affair with me. I felt I was so stupid. May be I should only keep my love in the bottom of my heart and keep our relationship in just very close friend. Sad….

I am going to hold back. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Just carry one more regrets in my life. Should be the best choice, isn’t it?

作者: xfire 時間: 2007-9-20 10:24

做情也發生了
傷害也造成了
今天你會背著八年的婚姻出軌
就算你選了另一個重新開始
可是你還是會出軌,再次面對一樣的問題
而你第二次的選擇會因第一次選擇的影響
又再次的週而複始得發生
最後你要回到原點也就來不及了
重點是你不想傷害兩個人
如果你表明了就不想跟現在的老婆繼續
那還無話可說

作者: kk-leung 時間: 2007-9-30 18:20

i don't understand the reason you felt sad?
frankly, becoz you didn't get more intimately.
(plz don't be offenced ... just anser your-own-self)

you should be happy !
still remember the date you proposed to you wife?
still remember the date you got married?
still remember her smile that you have to marry her?

think .... if you can live together with your wife's friend for 8 years?

作者: fuckallday 時間: 2007-10-1 06:44

I don't know if you should hold back. In any event, you are hurting the third person and yourself, maybe your wife as well. Be true to yourself, will it be the same if you stick with your wife? Are you treating the third person as a gf only? Are you prepared to marry her and start a family with her?

I can see that you are a responsible person as you consider the feeling of your wife, etc. Nonetheless, a married relationship based purely on responsibility and without love won't last long or won't have a happy ending.

作者: fatboy33 時間: 2007-10-2 09:53

引用:

原帖由 fuckallday 於 2007-9-30 22:44 發表
I don't know if you should hold back. In any event, you are hurting the third person and yourself, maybe your wife as well. Be true to yourself, will it be the same if you stick with your wife? Are ...

Thanks for your advice.

[ 本帖最後由 fatboy33 於 2007-10-3 21:33 編輯 ]

作者: fatboy33 時間: 2007-10-2 10:31

end of story

[ 本帖最後由 fatboy33 於 2007-10-3 21:34 編輯 ]

作者: unhappybear 時間: 2007-10-5 00:31 標題: 回復 #1 fatboy33 的帖子

男仕們, 請用情專一些好嗎? 可能這個世界太多引誘同選擇,可以隨意認識到心儀的人,但留意,人沒有十全十美.
如你另一半缺少的又要找另一個補缺的話, 咁你要找幾多個, 一個,二個.......十個 !
結婚後離婚又結婚再離婚, 人一生要結幾多次婚又要離幾多次婚呢?

作者: tony_1 時間: 2007-10-5 12:46

引用:

原帖由 unhappybear 於 2007-10-5 00:31 發表
男仕們, 請用情專一些好嗎? 可能這個世界太多引誘同選擇,可以隨意認識到心儀的人,但留意,人沒有十全十美.
如你另一半缺少的又要找另一個補缺的話, 咁你要找幾多個, 一個,二個.......十個 !
結婚後離婚又結婚再離 ...

專一男人大步份死哂啦, 得番 2-3 % 揸. 而家連佢地都返大陸啦. 唔想架, 太多引友啦. we are only human , and we are born to make mistake .

作者: fuckallday 時間: 2007-10-6 06:24

Dear unhappy bear

I understand what you feel in the situation that you have undergone. However, what we have been idscussed here applies to both men and women. These days, not only men may get attracted by a third person but women as well. Of course, there are lots of things involved in a marriage relationship, not only love, but also commitment, responsibility, etc. However, if keeping a marriage relationship may hurt all three parties involved, what is your advice to handle such a situation?

作者: princess_f 時間: 2007-10-6 21:19

可能你根本不適合結婚...真的希望你知錯能該...從心跟老婆一起吧.
不要等到你老婆傷心才知道錯.

作者: fatboy33 時間: 2007-10-8 00:57

I understand "what is marriage". I know how to be a good husband.

My wife is always doing well to me. I remember all the time we spent with each other.

I love her. She trusts me and we are a very happy couple.

But... I can tell... she is not the one I love the most.

She is the one who I can live with for life time.

We can keep maintaining our relationship as good as it is, no doubt till die.

That is my marriage. I accept and appreciate that when I choose to marry her.

We’ve been together for 13 years.

During these 13 years, I never met someone who can touch my heart so deep.

She (our common friend) just comes up in a very wrong moment.

And I shouldn’t allow her to get into our life.

Most of the time, I cannot stop myself to staring at her.

We can see through each other and touch each other’s soul.

All is just so perfect and so difficult to hold back.

Don’t worry, I know what I should do. I will be good to wife and be a good husband.

作者: fatboy33 時間: 2007-10-8 05:06

just read this (轉貼)愛與愛情的分別

http://forum.timway.com/f/thread-88865-1-4.html

will try my best to protect and maintain my marriage.

作者: fuckallday 時間: 2007-10-13 06:54

I don't know if many others share the same feeling as you but I am definitely one of them. I am in a similar situation as you and also 阿偉 in the story. While passionate love may not continue to exist in my marriage, there are understanding and other feelings towards my wife in the relationship. Therefore, though I feel empty at times in my heart, I've tried to fill it with other activities, like community work, reading, daydreaming, etc.

作者: dawdle_a 時間: 2007-10-17 11:34

要維繫婚姻，首先要自個催眠，眼中只有家庭，其他一切都是虛幻。如果你懂得這樣做，以後就沒有這種事情發生。其實我都有過像你的經歷，但我好清楚：我拍拖多年認識清楚才决定結婚，點解要為一些自己都唔知日後會變成點的感情而放棄自已美滿的婚姻呢？這一點是很重要的。所以我好贊成你的做法，你知唔知日後都會繼續有像這位女朋友的人出现，最緊要是自已懂得怎樣去處理，最好不要給他人有任何幻想。

作者: fungyanyuen1 時間: 2007-10-18 18:57

感情既野真係好難講.........

專一.........係你唯一既出路。
放手吧.......
廢事..........累己累人呀。

作者: fatboy33 時間: 2007-10-20 17:17

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFgngL8gIqc

SALLY:
The sun comes up,
I chink about you.
The coffee cup,
I think about you.
I want you so,
It's like I'm losing my mind.
The morning ends,
I think about you.
I talk to friends,
I think about you.
And do they know?
It's like I'm losing my mind.
All afternoon,
Doing every little chore,
The thought of you stays bright.
Sometimes I stand
In the middle of the floor,
Not going left,
Not going right.
I dim the lights
And think about you,
Spend sleepless nights
To think about you.
You said you loved me,
Or were you just being kind?
Or am I losing my mind?
I want you so,
It's like I'm losing my mind.
Does no one know?
It's like I'm losing my mind.
All afternoon,
Doing every little chore,
The thought of you stays bright.
Sometimes I stand
In the middle of the floor,
Not going left,
Not going right.
I dim the lights
And think about you,
Spend sleepless nights
To think about you.
You said you loved me,
Or were you just being kind!
Or am I losing my mind?

作者: nobody123 時間: 2007-10-23 06:10

引用:

原帖由 fatboy33 於 2007-10-20 17:17 發表
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFgngL8gIqc

SALLY:
The sun comes up,
I chink about you.
The coffee cup,
I think about you.
I want you so,
It's like I'm losing my mind.
The morning ends,
I ...

My friend, it is mostly an illusion. When time goes on and on, you feel your marriage is a little bit boring. Now you compare the good and the bad of the two woman. The girl friend has given you stimulation and stirring deep in your heart. While you wife is living with you just like the other days.

Well, nobody can help you except yourself. It is a kind of desire which you feel very excited now. After you clam down, you feel sorry for your wife.

作者: fatboy33 時間: 2007-10-23 11:42

13年了, 跟她一起拍拖5年到結婚8年, 真的一同經歷過很多很多…
有過很多次想放棄這段感情/婚姻, 但最後還是走在一起,
想不到一切在我們之的問題到得以差不多一一解決的時候,
竟然讓我遇上另一個她, 令我變得真的很笨…

先說說和太太之間的問題, 她是一個很賢慧的人, 從她身上, 我學會了很多, 人也變得完備了. 縱使在拍拖的5年間, 我們之間只可以親熱而冇性行為, 我也尊重她, 等到結婚後才去做那個. 我是她的唯一一個男人, 而在她之前, 我有過數個女朋友, 也有一定的性經驗. 我想不用多說, 你們也大概猜到我與她之間的問題, 用過很多方法, 看過醫生, 見過婚姻輔導, 花了5年的時間, 還是不行… (Mainly because she didn’t have much 決心 to face and handle the problem, she thought we can still love each other without sex. Also her job was too demanding and she always felt tired after work… a lot of reason or excuse… sometimes I hated her a lot and want to give up our marriage)

在這期間, 我開始學人出去玩, 得了暗病(皮膚病), 傳染了她, 好內疚, 心想一切也可以完了, 也不用再拖拖拉拉下去,那便離婚吧.

但到最後,她原諒了我,也決定放棄工作跟我一起到外國生活, 從新開始我們的婚姻.

在這3年之間, 我們的關係變得好了不少, 雖然在性方面, 還不算十分美滿, 但一切也漸入佳境, 慢慢改善中.

就在我們關係最好的時候, 理論上, 不應該可以容納另一個她…

But she bumped into my life. I don’t really know why I am falling into her.

We love to stay in a café and do nothing for a day; we go out and drink together. She knew that I am married and she met my wife. We understand we can only be good friend and we both tried very hard to maintain our relationship in just good friend.

But finally, I did something stupid… we hug and kiss each other…

現在, 我竟然想放棄我的太太去和她一起… 真的很笨…

三個人一起是不會快樂的…

我也不容許自己再去傷害我的太太…

她也不容許我去傷害我的太太…

那只好放棄她… 她也想我們只是好朋友…

但在我俩心深處, 我們也有同一樣的感覺, 對方就是你一生等待的人…

damn it…

作者: 中式食肆有座位 時間: 2007-10-24 02:50

引用:

原帖由 princess_f 於 2007-10-6 21:19 發表
可能你根本不適合結婚...真的希望你知錯能該...從心跟老婆一起吧.
不要等到你老婆傷心才知道錯.

樓主當時也不過是「有得食唔食，罪大惡極」的忠實執行者，同時服從「充血的下半身指導一切思想」的坦白男人而已，不堪苛責。現在回頭，舊事已過一切都變成新的了，回到家裡又做回一個好男人，只要不穿煲即可。

但是那位女士甘心嗎？

[ 本帖最後由中式食肆有座位於 2007-10-24 02:53 編輯 ]

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