Are you here to blame yourself for messing about all these years only after this incident??  It's too silly of you to do that since it's entirely an accident or simply say in this way, your fondling technique is superb so that that chick could not help herself grasping your dick dead tight when orgasm.  You should be happy and proud of yourself!!!  I guess the injury of yours shouldn't be that fatal as it bleeds and that means there is no bruise inside which the sponge tissue would not be fiberous but I still suggest you to go see doctor to aviod inflammation.  Keep it up and post more photo of chicks with beautiful boob after healing.

It is too naive of you to think it's a sin to fondle girls.  Youtr idea that the injury you've got is a punishment for the sin and you better quit this bad habit from now on to become a better man.  You are totally wrong brother, remember it is a basic instinct for man to pursue women's body as if human beings are chasing for food to survive.  If you give up chasing chicks due to somthing has gone wrong in the course of this chasing process, it is equal to stop eating food after your tongue has been biten by your own teeth during chewing.

It is very wrong of you to think paying a MM to play HJ to you is immoral.  Do you have quilty thoughtwhen you are paying money to get services from such as domestic helpers, restaurant waiters etc for slaving them?  Remember you are only doing HJ without real intercourse and you don't have any sex relatioship with the MM.  It is kinda like some one is doing the message for you but at your private part.  Please do not abuse morality after you get hurt from the service you bought.

I think it is no point to keep on arguing if doing HJ is moral or not.  Standard of ethic would be different for different people but I just can't accept some one like you who seems to enjoy so much about playing with girls of gorgeous breast and cleavages would suddenly blame the act just because getting hurt due to your own good fondling skill that led to the over do of the MM.  More ironical is that you attribute the injury to the punishment from God for your immoral behavior.  Regarding your point that what if my GF gets massage from a guy at her private part, please remember men and women have different instincts and habits.  Most of the male human beings pursue female actively and seldomely the other way round.  This is the reason that it is more common to have female selling sex service to male in the world.  It doesn't mean that female are higher in moral standard but they only in general have lower desire on this area.