Since young people love music, one of their most common pastimes is sing of their favorite songs in karaoke lounge, which not only relax overpressure from studying, but also keep better relationship with their friends.

有啲唔可以話你錯，∼∼我唔敢講我改得一定係最好∼∼但係你表達手法有較多改進空間!

我所知karaoke box係指一部機器∼∼如果你話karaoke box係一間舖頭名，咁就要用大草開頭，但係如果你當佢係舖頭名，句子意思又會變得好怪，似賣廣告多過文章∼∼love songs唔係錯，不過我估你原意係想講後生仔鐘意唱佢地喜歡的歌，所以我改為favorite songs會合你意思啲；love song係指情歌，“their love songs”意思變了“佢哋的情歌”，意思好古怪
努力∼∼

得閑又有心情，再同你睇睇其他∼∼或其他更強的高手出招指路∼∼

Tourism has regarded as a key bolster of local economic development by bringing a large number of tourists to consume in Hong Kong; meanwhile, it also contributes other industries, such as, transportation, hotel, service and so on, shrinking the unemployment rate via creating new jobs.
有啲字眼我改了只是個人認為會好啲∼∼未必係你錯∼
唔好成日重複用Tourism做主語，呢個唔係好的寫法∼∼
西歐句子有個中國人唔鐘意的特色，就是一句可以好長好長∼∼分分鐘成段百幾二百字完了後才有一個full stop，中國人睇得好辛苦∼但鬼佬睇就好啱洗∼坊間有啲翻譯成中文的英文書，都犯上這個毛病∼譯者見句英文好長，所以譯成中文時也譯成好長∼中國人睇呢啲翻譯書會睇到嘔血∼但我們寫英文時最好學吓呢啲鬼佬習慣∼不要把句子斬得太碎太短∼盡可能一句寫清哂自己想表達的意思∼你睇吓英文報紙就知∼寫句子碎的程度可以睇到一個人英文的功力∼
增加自己的詞庫∼有啲意思，你可能要用幾個簡單的英文字組合出來，但原來一個較深入的英文字已經可以表達出來∼∼寫得簡潔，讀得有味∼
成交量係股市的元氣，股價只係得個樣∼∼英文都係，腦內的字庫是英文功力的元氣，要無時無刻增加自己腦內的英文字庫∼只要腦內字庫不足，就算比你文法幾勁，口語幾叻都冇料，一樣睇唔明聽唔明，講唔出，寫唔出∼∼

By joining the team’s activities, students not only gain more opportunity to get along with other people but also learn team spirit building and interpersonal skill via cooperation and discussion with others in order to get rid of problems.  This experience is very useful to their future.

都係句子唔好咁碎∼
同一段內，講同一個主語係點點點，就盡可能不要常常搬同一個主語出來，本文主要想講Student，一來不要常常重複student，They也不要常出街，其實換成中文你都唔會咁寫：你同我出街，你同我落樓，你同我坐車∼∼
你只會講：你同我出街，落樓下一齊坐車∼∼
總之同一個主語一出，就用到佢盡，只要你用盡個新出場的主語，你的句子自然會寫得長∼∼