Dear kenny1234

You may have to distinguish between love and attraction. You may be attracted by many girls and some of them may like you as well. But when it boils down to love, there may be only onewhom you really care. Of course, I myself don't know what love is. However, my own experience is that when I am in love with someone, even there is one who is really attractive and shows me that she is approachable, I will only admire her and not try to develop with her. In your case, that's why you chose to escape in the past. Stepping into your current lover's shoes, if she has more than one lover, what would you think?

Dear Kenny1234 and nobody169

I still think it is not love when we have mrore than one gfs. You know, almost all males (and females as well) enjoy the feeling of being liked by the opposite gender. Therefore, when we are being approached by another female, as long as she is not unadorable, most of us would not reject despite having a steady relationship with a gf already. If you tell the seond girl that you already have a gf and you weight her less than your gf, what do you think she may act. Most likely she may quit and won't carry on the relation with you. And thus more likely you may have to cheat in order to keep her. It is more like a game of hunting for preys, instead of love as it involves cheats and tricks. Of ocurse, if you are in the process of finding a steady gf, you may be choosing between more than two gfs at the same time. Nonetheless, some of my friends' experience of stepping on two boats resulted in sinking both boats! Beware.

Dear Nobody169

You've got me wrong. In fact, I am saying that it won't work if you have more than one gf at the same time. For me, it is difficult for me to develop another relationship when I have a steady gf/wife even when the third person appears to be prettier or nicer in whatever aspect.

Dear Kenny1234

I really don't know if a man/woman can love two persons at the same time. I remember the first thing my Economic professor taught us was that "choosing is painful!". It certainly applies in your case. Yet  I do think you have to choose since if you let it drag on, eventually it will affect all 3 of you. I can see so many cases that a boy marries a girl and then after marriage he can't forget a second girl and tries to maintain a relationship with her or just regrets that why he didn't choose her. Eventually the marriage is ruined. It is painful to choose now, but once you've decided which one is your love (or lovest), then you should be blunt and clearly sever your relationship with the other one.

On second thought, regarding your feeling towards the second girl, could it be the fear generated from your previous marriage that somehow makes yolu try to escape from marriage? Therefore, it is not real love, just a way for you to defer your decision to marry.

Dear Kenny1234

Reading your message more carefully, I don't know why you would buy sex when your gf is not with you. You know, I have the guilt feeling towards my wife even when I simply dream of developing a relationship with someone else or dreaming of having physical relationship with someone else. If thre is real love, it may make you to hold off your sex drive and devote yourself wholely to your gf. The bottomline is that: do you really love your current gf? Or it is just the long-time commitment makes you feel regret when you've found out that you don't really love her? That's why you buy sex and develop with another girl.

I have a relative in similar situation before. He is quite handsome and had many gfs. He always had at aleast 2 gfs at the same time. Before he decied to get married, he was choosing between 2 gfs. IN fact, he was wondering if he should get married as marriage might end his colourful life of dating with different gfs. eventually he chose to get marrried with one who is not that pretty but appears to be a good wife. Nonetheless, after marriage, for two years, he continued to go out with the other girl who also got married with someone. The other girl is like him, having more than one bfs and is pretty/attrative. His wife found out and left home. Then he realized that he had to really make a decision what to do, to stick to his wife or to persuade the playgirl to divorce as well and stay together. Evntually he chose to stay with his wife and now they are living happily together and have a little baby.