It may not be the other woman's fault. Your husband may be the one who initiate the affair. By the way, how did you find it out?

I think you really belong to those with a very old traditional thinking. In those days, people consider men having more than one wives as normal, having affairs with other women as normal, etc.

From what you said, your husband doesn't seem to care too much about you, won't initiate conversation with you, won't care about your feeling, find entertainment himself, etc. I am wondering why he doesn't want to divorce with you. YOu have to ask yourself whether he chooses not to divorce with you because of love or something else (losing face, not wanting to irritate his parents, etc.). If there is no love in a relationship, it is no use trying hard to maintain it. You know, eventually he may find another woman in the Mainland and the whole episode will repeat again.