xocat says elsewhere:

'if they see it, they should discuss with me POINT BY POINT.  I have good language ability that I can present things 有條理地. '

I would love to see xocat respond 'point by point' here. There are three distinct points.

Let us come back for a response, hopefully round the start of next week.
Have you alerted him via PM as well?

Well, xocat finally makes categorical apologies. which I appreciate.

I wonder why xocat did not take the initiative of sending PMs to banned members (in their recognisable new identities) other than loksiu/crazybb soon after the massive killings, sincerely asking them to confirm whether they will continue to behave in the interest of the forum, or side with loksiu/crazybb (using xocat's terms).

I guess that the first few of the unbanned members got unbanned through
friends' intermediation.
I wonder how many of the rest of the unbanned have actually PMed xocat to 'pledge
allegiance/disclaim alliance with loksiu'. But that does not matter by now.

[ 本帖最後由 白貓兒 於 2007-8-19 23:34 編輯 ]

Personally, I do not wish to press xocat anymore with queries on the issue in question, particularly of the procedural side. I have insisted on matters of principle and honestly I can't say I am satisfied with all answers. Of course, other interested members and stakeholders might continue to pose queries or refuse to accept the reality as it is, which is understandable.


If I am to remain in this forum and maintain a certain level of activity, I can only look forward to the future.

And I do hope that xocat is one among us in drawing a lesson.

I hope that xocat is more sensitive, understanding, thoughtful and humane now.

I hope that we will not have to press xocat hard for statements and explanations again in the future , and that he will more actively consult the remaining faithful and helpful members/moderators/board masters, few as there may seem to be now.

This is my note of caution and self-comfort.

[ 本帖最後由 白貓兒 於 2007-8-20 11:06 編輯 ]

I can't say I am truly happy, mind you.
But life is full of eclipses.

xocat, when you have a Via Media (Latin: 'middle way/strategy') in mind, do not presume that you are always the one in the best position to weigh all considerations to arrive at the middle way. Others see things with different weightings. I hope you are more transparent as to how you weigh things in the future. When your thoughts are compared alongside others' early enough, good compromises might result.

[ 本帖最後由 白貓兒 於 2007-8-20 11:08 編輯 ]

XOCAT, you have said enough against loksiu.
Please refrain from repeating your condemnation.
There are bound to be members who still resist it.
(I say this without siding with him, and  repeat I do not particularly approve of his manners in general.)

Please give peace of the mind some chance. Let people take their time to forget (though they may not accept it in their hearts.)
Be understanding.

[ 本帖最後由 白貓兒 於 2007-8-20 11:10 編輯 ]

引用:

原帖由 xocatII 於 2007-8-19 22:34 發表

for promoting other forum, I see it is hard to implement or very hard in technical term to implement.  But it becomes a culture/norm for most big forum, so I implement it.  This is a rule that you don't have to question... thanks.  (just because this is a rule)  

xocat, yesterday a member posted a thread telling us that a forum for dissenting members to join after leaving xocat forum had just been built. This forum was conveniently set up at no cost.

You deleted the thread, presumably in accordance with the relevant forum rule against posting the links of other forum websites.

If such a rule is to be rigidly enforced, every act of posting alternative forum links should be banned. But in this case, I think that the member banned simply wanted to let dissenters know of that newly-built forum as a refuge, or a way out解脫 of their dissatisfaction here. That forum is only at its budding stage and mere knowledge of it does not pose a threat to your forum. If you had not deleted that thread, you could have made members here feel that you are understanding enough to allow them to let out their emotion in a non-threatening manner. Please note the message therein was worded mildly and I did not find it offensive or antagonistic to the xocat forum.

(The posting member asked you to be understanding and not to ban his thread/him, only to find that you actually did. I don't think he meant to test you; to me he seemed to assume that you would be tolerant. Did you know that he had just written today on the old xocat forum: '我某預佢咁少氣架'?  Sigh. )

I would agree that the initiator of the thread could have instead alerted selected members known to be dissenters here of the newly built forum by a private means like PM. But at the same time there might be a portion of your more silent members who to a certain extent share the dissatisfaction of the outspoken ones here.

xocat, you could have announced on the thread that you would allow the thread to exist here for a few days, long enough for all interested to take notice of it, before you delete it at the end of this grace period. You could also have demanded that no one should come back to publicise this forum again in the future. Then the thread could have been locked to stop further promotion before it was removed later. Such an approach could have helped present an image of broadmindedness and reasonable tolerance, if you ever give importance to it. You could also have added that outgoing members are always free and welcome to come back as long as any emotive remarks against your forum are not made here.

xocat, you have said you seek a Via Media (middle road) amid conflicting concerns and demands. Maybe to do so you need to a bit more flexible about rules and try to view things more from the perspective of unhappy members here. The letters of a rule can be made to look so 'big', so overwhelming that we get obsessed to it, become cold unfeeling people and even look authoritarian, though we may not really mean to be so.

More often than not, the choice to make  is not an either-or. There is a third option, a middle way that can incorporate more considerations, be accepted by more and encourage mutual trust .

Therefore, in retrospection I offer you an alternative approach to the thread in question.

[ 本帖最後由 白貓兒 於 2007-8-20 13:05 編輯 ]