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小 發表於 2006-8-19 01:36 顯示全部帖子
Obituary - Mr Common Sense
今日收到嘅一隻醫貓....
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure early in the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools; hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second (or even last as long as your best efforts were given).
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including, body piercing, whole language and "new math". But his health declined with the "if it only helps one person it's worth it" virus. In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for ravages of overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self serving lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to students but cannot inform the parent when the female student is in trouble.
Finally Common Sense lost his will to live and the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.
And the Grand Daddy of them all, was when a woman who was stupid enough not to realize that coffee is hot, and was awarded a huge payout for stupidity, caused Common Sense to throw in the towel.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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